So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
