I've blown a few things in my day
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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