Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
