The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
