After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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