I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
