got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
