i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
