In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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