he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
