Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
