this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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