You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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