I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
3pm strippers are depressing
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
