being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
