I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
