holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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