I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
