Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
