Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
