careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
