Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
