Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
