I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
