dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
