Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
two words: eviction party
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
