I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
