you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am midnight drunk by noon
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
