I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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