I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
