is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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