I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
