dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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