we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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