before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
