I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
a search helicopter?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize