toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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