I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
