living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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