Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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