Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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