I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
