he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
