Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
