I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
