Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
