He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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