Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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