I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
