Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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