Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
