Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
