garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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