Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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