And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
