Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
