her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
